Loosing our cool never feels good. Something takes over and we no longer feel in control. We say things we wouldn't usually say and do things we often regret. We berate ourselves and wish we could turn back the clock. Dr. Dan Siegel describes this as flipping our lid. When our executive, logical thinking brain goes offline and our heightened emotions steer the ship. The activated chemicals in our system remain for about ninety seconds however it is our holding onto the emotions which exasperates and prolongs our suffering. We spin stories to support our emotional state and one feeds the other.
Knowing how to interupt this cycle is a practice we can master. We learn to recognise the triggers, become savvy at noticing the physiological response and use mindfuless techniques and self coaching to regulate the levels of stress chemicals in our system.
We become the masters of our own mind and emotions. So how do we begin?
Mindfulness Technique:
Become accustomed to tuning into your emotional state throughout the day. Notice how your emotions show up in your body.
I feel happy - my body feels energised
I feel sad - my heart feels heavy
I feel angry - my muscles feel tense
Just notice.
Be mindful to resist stating 'I am sad or I am angry'. By saying I feel or I am experiencing frustrtation/anger etc. we detatch from the emotion and it passes through us more quickly and easily.
When we become more in tune with how emotions present in our body we can begin to regulate them.
Calm body - Calm mind and vise versa.
Take a few deep long breaths ensuring your exhalation is longer than the inhalation thus inducing more calm.
Focus on the feeling of your breath in your body until the emotion subsides.
Coaching Question:
How would an increased ability to master your emotional state positively impact your personal and professional life?
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